A Battle to Remember
by Sparrow319
Summary: Vegeta has been transported to a place where a warrior can test his true mettle.......a place that should be called the Maul. Catch my drift? Read and review!


An Experience

By Sparrow

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Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ. I'm not even really sure I own this plot.

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A/N: This is my first posting so I really hope you enjoy it. Reviews are good. Helpful criticisms are welcome, but please don't be too harsh. If any serious problems are pointed out to me, I will fix them and re-post the fic. Why are you still here? Go read!

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A/N 2: Yes. I know the title is stupid, but I couldn't think of anything better.

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Vegeta gazed across the battle that raged before him. It was the bloodiest, most horrendous battle he'd ever seen. And he'd seen a lot in his time. The combatants were ruthless, using every cheap trick they knew. The shrieks of those who failed pierced his ears.

"Vegeta? Vegeta, are you listening to me?" The voice of his mate calling his name floated to his ears. Bulma snapped her fingers in front of his face, bringing the saiyan out of his reverie. "Earth to Vegeta."

"Yes, woman, I'm here." he growled.

"Good. Now as I was saying," Bulma held up a blue high heel, "I can't find the match to this shoe."

Bulma had dragged Vegeta to the mall again, threatening him with no sex for a month if he didn't comply. Her favorite store had been having an 80% off sale and she needed to find a new pair of shoes to go with the dress she had bought for the Capsule Corp party next week. Bulma had waded through the chaos like a seasoned veteran and appraised the merchandise with an expert eye. After an hour of searching she had finally found the perfect shoe. Bulma had dived for it, slapping another woman out of the way. She examined the prize, determining that it was the right size, shape, and color. The only problem? There was only one shoe.

"Hmmm," she mused. "It's gotta be around here somewhere." Bulma looked around at the frenzied mass of shoppers surrounding them. "We'll split up," she decided. 

Bulma waved the lone shoe under Vegeta's sensitive nose allowing him to memorize the look and the smell. "Got the scent?" He nodded. "Good boy! Now fetch!" And with that, they both ran in opposite directions. 

The thrill of the hunt upon him, Vegeta raced off, pushing and shoving his way through the crowds. He could hear the blood pounding in his ears as the adrenaline pumped through his veins. The excitement of it all! This is what he lived for! Only the strong would survive this challenge. His tail would have been wagging in delight if it had still been attached. 

Vegeta briefly entertained the idea of making his job easier by simply blowing up the mass of berserk women shoppers, but he dismissed it quickly. The blood and guts would make quite a mess and most of the merchandise would be burned to a crisp. This would make his mate angry and Vegeta would inevitably end up sleeping on the couch. Plus she didn't like it when he killed people. He would have to do this the hard way then. Vegeta sighed. The things he did for sex. Or maybe it was love. It certainly sounded better. Vegeta pondered about that for a moment. No. Wait. It was definitely sex. The idiot woman would love him no matter what. The things he did for sex.

Cursing, Vegeta dove back into the crowd. Death would have to wait for another time. He smirked at that thought. Vegeta stopped and sniffed the air, changed directions, and continued shoving people out of his way, allowing his nose to lead him to the other shoe.

Once, Vegeta heard a pitiful cry. "P-please! Help me!" the weak voice came from the direction of the floor. Vegeta turned to see a thin, middle-aged man in glasses laying on the floor, slowly being trampled to death. It seemed he had fallen during the fray and had been unable to regain a standing position. Vegeta was about to ignore him and keep searching when he felt a twinge of sympathy. That wasn't a common occurrence in the mighty prince. Vegeta gave in to the feeling before he could change his mind. After all, it wasn't the man's fault he had been dragged here. He was just another victim. Vegeta felt a certain kinship to him. He strode over to the man, lifted him up by his shirtfront, and set him solidly back on his feet before shoving him towards the nearest opening.

"Run while you still can you weak fool." The man was too smart to even turn around and say thanks. Vegeta humphed and continued on.

Finally, Vegeta saw her: a large woman, suspiciously at the edge of the crowd, with curly orange hair, a tight pink dress, and cat-eye glasses. (A/N: Remember the obnoxious woman from the junior tournament in DBZ who was so upset when her brats lost?) She was frantically digging through a pile of discards with one hand and in the other she held............. the matching shoe.

"Woman!" he shouted imperiously. Amazingly enough the large woman somehow knew that she was the one being addressed. She looked up at Vegeta.

"Give me that shoe!"

The woman (we'll call her Susan) quivered in fear at the deadly look in the spiky-haired stranger's eyes, but she stood her ground. "Never!"

Susan sprang up (not an easy task considering her size) and attempted to run...er...wobble away.

Vegeta, not used to being disobeyed, was furious. He tried to rush after the woman, but instead stumbled back in and groaned in pain when an unseen elbow connected with his jaw.

Vegeta growled in frustration. His over-sized prey was very slowly getting away and he was stuck in the middle of this madhouse. An idea popped into the saiyan prince's head. Crouching low, he leapt high into the air, over the heads of the other oblivious shoppers. Technically he wasn't flying so his onna couldn't get mad at him for displaying his powers in public. "Stop!" he cried.

Susan didn't even turn around. She did, however, drop the shoe when a ki-blast the size of a golf ball hit her in the hand. It was barely enough to cause a burn, but it still hurt like a beeznitch. Susan ignored the fallen footwear and promptly submerged her fist in someone else's iced beverage, splashing liquid everywhere and making the owner of the cup very angry.

Vegeta pounced on the shoe and came up in a dive roll with the article clutched to his chest. He glared at Susan who was now arguing with another woman over dry-cleaning.

"Baka."

The saiyan proceeded to climb to the top of one of the display cases.

"**ONNA!!**" he bellowed.

On the other side of the store Bulma lifted her head. Her husband's voice was unmistakable even in this din. Bulma scanned the crowd and located Vegeta, perched on top of a display with a smug look on his face. In one hand he held his prize over his head for her to see. In the other he was tossing and catching a ki-ball the size of an orange. Bulma grinned, forgetting about the unlabeled box she had been quarreling over.

"I'll be right there!" she called back before plunging back into the throng.

"All of you stay back or I'll blast you into the next dimension!" Vegeta threatened menacingly to the people gathered below him. Muttering, the shoppers reluctantly turned away from the display and wandered off to fight over other products. Satisfied that the threat had been eliminated, he let the ki-ball fade. Vegeta watched Bulma as she punched and kicked her way through the mob and felt a swell of pride. She fought like a true saiyan warrior! He even thought he saw her bite a couple of people.

Out of curiosity Vegeta examined the object they had been fighting for. He noticed that it was a deep shade of blue that would perfectly match one of his fighting gis.... Vegeta gave himself a mental slap and let the thought trail off.

Something on the shoe caught his eye. It was a small black smudge near the sole, no bigger than the nail on an infant's pinky. He gave it a sniff and caught the faint smell of smoke. The shoe had been singed. Vegeta silently cursed himself for not being more careful with that ki-blast. That was when he also noticed that he was bleeding from three parallel gouges on his forearm. He must have been scratched at some point. Vegeta tucked the shoe into his belt. Maybe the woman wouldn't notice...........

When Bulma arrived at the display Vegeta was casually licking his wounds clean. (A/N: Hey! It's Vegeta! What did you expect?) "Back! Back I say! Back!" Bulma took a few more swings at the small swarm of eager shoppers with the mannequin's arm she had broken off. She threw the dismembered arm back into the crowd, creating a small stampede for the jewelry that was still attached. The distraction was enough that she could safely climb up to join her husband.

"Well?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

Vegeta tensed a little and silently handed her the shoe, hoping she wouldn't notice the scorch mark. Bulma turned the shoe over in her hands, comparing it to the one she had. Everything looked right except......

"Vegeta? What's this?" she asked pointing to the offending blemish. Vegeta's eyes went wide.

"She did it!" he said quickly, pointing at the still arguing Susan.

Bulma snorted. "That's doubtful." She continued inspecting the shoe, giving careful consideration to the black spot.

Vegeta, meanwhile, was praying to Dende that she would pronounce the shoe acceptable. If she deemed it to be ruined then he, Vegeta, prince of all saiyans, super-saiyan elite, strongest being on earth, toughest in the universe, was going to cry.

Bulma seemed to have finished. Vegeta held his breath, waiting for her to pass judgment.

"Hmmm." was all she said.

Vegeta felt a bead of cold sweat trickle down his back.

Bulma licked her thumb and rubbed at the black spot. It disappeared. Bulma beamed. "This'll work great!"

Vegeta sighed in relief.

"Let's get out of here."

"About time." Vegeta grabbed Bulma around the waist and jumped down from the display. Tired of messing around, he began clearing a path through the horde by firing small ki-blasts aimed at people's feet. Most people merely got a hot foot and jumped out of the way, but others had their rubber soles melted and became stuck to the floor; including Susan who immediately lost her balance and fell over with a loud 'THUD'.

Vegeta and Bulma flew home in silence, glowing with their victory. In Vegeta's mind the only thing better than a good fight was winning it. And the only thing better than winning was sex. Vegeta was hoping he could entice his mate into a little early-evening romp in their bedroom. Damn! if his onna didn't look appealing, all flushed with triumph and wearing that satisfied grin.

They touched down on the front lawn of the Capsule Corp mansion. "Did I do good or what?" Vegeta asked, eager for praise and a chance to gloat.

Bulma patted him on the cheek. "You did very good. So good in fact, that I think we could tackle that sale at Cashman's tomorrow."

All lustful thoughts vanished from Vegeta's head. His eyes widened in fear as he gaped at his mate. She couldn't be serious! Could she? "T-tomorrow?"

"Yes dear. Tomorrow."

"**NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-**"

Vegeta's screams could be heard across three continents.

"**-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-**"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_ Somewhere far above the earth_

Dende looked at Mr. Popo. "Sounds like Vegeta has to go shopping again."

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"**-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"**

Vegeta finally stopped, panting for breath. Bulma just looked at him calmly.

"Are you done yet?"

"Yes," Vegeta shouted.

"Good. Then you better get a good night's sleep. We start bright and early tomorrow morning."

"Can't we at least wait for my wounds to heal first?" he whined.

"Stop whining Vegeta."

"What?!? I am the great Saiyajin no Ouiji! I do not whine!" he growled.

"Yes you do and no we are not going to wait. That's what senzu beans are for." Bulma dug one out of her purse and handed it to the saiyan. "And you'll be ready to go by nine or else." That said, she turned on her heel and went inside, leaving Vegeta alone. He scowled at the small, brown bean in his hand.

"Curse you and your healing powers! Must you spoil everything?"

Vegeta popped the bean in his mouth and began chewing. The things he did for sex..........

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THE END


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